SOOOO SORRY ! I DIDN'T MEAN TO BE FUCKED UP

but....

WHAT IS SJY IF SHE IS NOT STRAIGHT FORWARD WITH WORDS? 

dont like it?

YOUR PROBLEM 

not happy?

I HAPPY ! 

now you say you don't want both ? is this being fair ? dont be a joke really .don't you find it contradicting? you ask me delete my fb post about her. did i mention names? why ? scared no face or?

you know and everyone know i very straight forward so when i deleted my wall post it means i already GAVE IN. dont PUSH YOUR LUCK and ask me to DELETE my blog !

you know blogging have to type alot of words? need energy you know? fb status very short only i don't mind to delete. you expect me to love you and all when you treat me this way ?

sorry i very emotional and i have a fucked up attitude problem and i cannot control my emotions and thoughts.you expect me to erase what has happen ?

if it was so easy to forget such things i would have deleted all the hurts that i went through .

yeah i'm hurt but i guess i'm used to the pain . 

every pain i have been through before i can tolerate and i still pull through . what i promise korkor i will make sure i do. i promised to be strong i won't  let him down 

okay shall stop talking about un happy stuff !

ANYWAY HAPPY TEACHERS DAY TO ALL TEACHERS OUT THERE ESPECIALLY 

MY SECONDARY SCHOOL TEACHERS !

dug out some old picture when i was still schooling ! i know i have changed alot but i became stronger then what i was before.

i miss my babes in school after all it was a all girls school ! so much fun and all if only i could go back to secondary school life i promise i won't be a CAHO AH LIAN in school .

don't like being like the dang jia sia . everyone so scared I GOT SO FIERCE MEH :(

 esmeralda ! samantha ! gillian !

 me and my buddy in school ! okay i was a butch then but what the hack i know i handsome !

hahas :x

 went to malaysia klang to look after kids with no families or home 

see someone familiar ? it's juline ! except she long hair that time HAHA

 this is my BOY CHRIS! nobody wanted to look after him cause he was so naughty and playful even best he cannot sit still! but end of the day SJY did the perfect job looking after him and playing catching with him!

miss him though isnt he CUTE !

 Glenda's 18th birthday ! though we all graduated we are still close in one way or another :)

 squeezing on one bed aren;t we just so cute!

SMOOVE SCHOOL'D OUT 2011 !

different classes same school come together and club !

and best all in our school uniforms !

 my hair was never once brown in school ! but i still enjoy taking pictures with the mirror !

 i know this is lame but yeah this is how cock we can be in class

and i wonder where my this black bag is :/

 science center school excursion !

i know this is a damn long post ! went back to secondary school today with juline and caught up with mr tang, mrs tng, mrs teo, chen laoshi, miss gan, miss lee!

at first we couldnt enter the school cause of me and juline's bright colour hair so we went by the back gate. end up security sms miss gan HAHA also bo taiji like a boss only !

saw my ex girlfriend though, dk to say im happy or not but yeah memories do come back especially when we meet again in the place where we got tgt.

and till this day she still cares and helping me in my studies and life. i appreciate it really . i know i abit cock la but yeah :) okay stop here for today !

thanks for reading readers !

xoxo

BITCH STAY AWAY FROM WHAT IS MINE !

i will fucking dig your pussy hole and make you scream in pain !

and i'll rip you apart !

i'm not feeling well and being sick is the worst feeling ever and adding emotional stress i should just bang the wall or even just let cars bang to kill me. went to cine today . i DIDNT have to go but it was because of my "AWESOME" boyfriend his ginna birthday of course as a girlfriend i will show face no matter how sick or how tired i am . and OKAY WHAT his EX also there . knn dage say her make up look like plastic barbie doll. and cb she so ugly even with make up =.= not saying i very pretty or what but her seriously?

whole time at cine my boyfriend like not my boyfriend also keep with the ex. then dont know how she can LOSE her wallet . waste everyone's time sit and rot there look for her stupid wallet .

as usual i machiam like ATM . everything i have to pay . dad gave me like 240 bucks and i'm left with 50 bucks. tell me will sot anot ! ARGH !

NOW TO THE BEST PART ! i went home first got in the cab ! and people think i am BLIND !

i saw that slut hugging my boyfriend. knn dont touch what is mine la mother fucker .

i'll fucking punch your plastic face . BUT NOT BAD WHAT NOW THAT SLUT AT MY BOYFRIEND HOUSE . OKAY WHAT ! 

some kind of boyfriend seriously not gonna kiam eng already . cannot forget her then be with me for fuck ?

then now say want me . knn break glass can fix back to original piece anot ?

happy fucking la aye . after 1 whole year i never open my heart and now when i open my heart this shit happen ? worst then i was with jetjet sia. jetjet not so bastard also even though he is .

dont worry my heart is frozen in solid ice , dont expect me to trust you too. cause you broke that trust .

okay enough of ranting .

saw nitez today . was glad that we finally talked . it's been months coming to a year since we last talked. 

okay gonna watch my show awhile and drink soup and head to bed.

waking up to go back secondary school for teachers day :)

xoxo

i haven't change it's still me, stop saying that i have change .

it's been 4 days since i have been attached . and yes baby is that kind of sticky boyfriend, i have no issues about that but sometimes i really hope he understands. friends are equally important to me . i won't cause of boyfriend forget or don't care about my friends. it's like each of us need out own time and own space to breathe that's where he lacks to understand . and i really hate it when people especially my boyfriend use violence to solve problems. i mean hello if you wanna go back in sit cause of stupid fighting then please continue if not just stop and think before you do things. 

i know it sounds like i don't love my boyfriend but i do alot, just that i really need time to ADJUST and really adjust . i don't like to be controlled neither do i like to be kept like in a box. 

MY GOD I THINK I'M GONNA EXPLODE SERIOUSLY !

chill sam cool down don't be pissed off. ARGHHHH 

i more like a mother then a what la dafug . seriously i don't care already la no matter who you are dont pissed me off with immaturity and ridiculous reasons. i for one thing dont tolerate such things !

okay i should stop blogging ! my mood is acting up again . 

bye and good night people. 

AND PLEASE WISH ME LUCK IN MY O LEVEL ORAL TMR . 

xoxo

HELLO EVERYBODY !!!!

okay ! gonna blog while baby is bathing . currently at my place came back from avatar and orchard plaza all the SIAM DIU !

yes i know right ! since when me SJY go to siam dius . well on the 25th alot of things happened. yes jeremy kena whack i kinda pitied him but i didnt exactly know what happen. i only know dage shouted at him when jeremy keep come near me dage pointed and shouted at him " ni dong wo meimei wo yi ding da ni!! "

i know dage and all were very protective of me :)

and guess what ! I'M ATTACHED ! yes i decided to open my heart again. i hope this time won't be like the past . it's been a year that i am single ad without status . and le boyfriend xiaolong really got guts to ask xiaohei if he can be my boyfriend :) even though i just recetly knew him but it's like those love at first sight !

i never use to believe in such things till now. and i swear he is damn sweet  today is only like the 2nd day tgt but it already feels like we been together like 2 months or even longer than that. i can really say i am really grateful to know him and now having me by my side . 

aww i'm like smiling to myself while blogging this cause i am really happy !!!!

talked things out with yueting and elysia today . seriously FUCK clement !

cibai CONTRADICTING in the first place ad now he can say like everything is not his fault like that. guys like him should really go to HELL . 

but like again if he buay ke yan just come only FUCKING DOUCHE BAG !

okay i shouldn't be so angry ! and i dont know why i am not tired :(

shall wait for my hair to dry then go to sleep. and baby is bathing damn long i go no idea why . 

oh well . and i know now i have a boyfriend but i will make time for my friends too so don't worry :)

tomorrow going with baby for interview at dage's work place and then later meet da sao then should be going to shop at bugis i know i shouldn't be spending money and yeah really can't wait for my tattoo appointment . vincent is taking forever to get back to me . i am so impatient i swear !

OKAY HERE ARE 3 PICTURES WHEN I WAS A V5 ON THE 25TH OF AUGUST !

me and qian hui !

 me and shani ( dasao )

use to have problems in the past but everything is alright already !!

beloved dage ! though he always bullies me and scold me for almost nothing i still love him alot !

ad hop he and shan ni will really last !

okay end of blog entry !

good night everyone !

xoxo

HAPPY 23RD BIRTHDAY ALOY !

i know aloy won't see this but still gonna blog and wish him here ! it's been years since i know this fellow here and he has become a super star now . really proud of him , never expected him to become what he is today . younger days when we were still in sec school . though we were in a different sec sch we always see each other and hang around kovan :) 

still remembered how he nagged at me when i decided to quit school . all of us had our past .

after 5 years of not seeing him last year saw him at powerhouse and this boy still open jug for me to drink and i couldn't finsih it :( still went to dragonfly to join him for a drink or two . 

anyway HAPPY BIRTHDAY again handsome !

may you have great success in your career and really want to see you more shows !

if there is a chance to catch up with you again like in the past i would be damn happy . can go play basketball also good haha ! HAVE A GREAT BIRTHDAY ! 

xoxo   

\LOVE . PRIDE . SOAR

don't exactly know what i wanna blog . it's kinda late now and i guess i'm gonna sleep soon , 

head is kinda in a mess. don't really know what to do with certain people. i know most of the times i care for those who don't care about me and i don't care about those who care about me.

i know i am selfish and contradicting myself. but life is such. some things cannot be helped.

i know i am not pretty or as good as other girls. i like to be me. wanna be with me or be my friend except my flaws. i know i'm difficult, but do you people think i really wanna be like this, it's the people and the surrounding that makes people change to someone eles.

yeah i do like to boast at times but who doesn't ? :) 

later have to wake up in the afternoon and prepare to head down to town i think. movie tomorrow with a bunch of people .hope it will go smoothly . redid my blog songs . wah damn oldie ! haha !

old songs yet meaningful .anyway mum is going for surgery later hope she is alright. and dad has to faster flyy back from the states i want to puay my birthday chalet :( and oral is just next week MY GOD i am so freaked out really . everyone is like " wu ya bo ? samantha jamie yeo going for exam leh"

i know i'm not smart and i am just taking it for the sake of taking it . but well , just sit for the paper right ?

hope i can sleep later with no thoughts, no bad dreams, yeah i think alot and i am paranoid.

but i guess dreams do happen for a reason and more of a reason when it's de javu !

okay goodnight everyone :)

xoxo

recently i keep using action cam to take this kind of photos!

hahax i think i'm cute ! HAHAHA

i seriously can't stand guys who treat girls like substitute. want girls to understand and consider your feelings why dont you douchebags do the same to us girls? keep saying you all don't know what you want and all don't you all think that you all are contradicting? no wonder they say guys are actually 3 years younger in their mentality. all the sweet words are plain bull shit save those sweetness to your mother . they will love you more. sorry for my bitch attitude cause seriously people these few days damn too much . i'll only be a bitch when you are behaving like a total jerk or another bitch .

another thing which i seriously detest is when my bestfriend has someone new in their life they don't bother about the rest . want to be this way again? sure. cause i'll just cast you out like what i have been doing this few times. 

I DON'T NEED ANYONE WHO DOESN'T NEED ME 

that also includes best friends. cause best friends should be best friends not act like a total douche !

quarreled with dad today still feeling kinda annoyed . after all this years ask for one simple thing yu also cannot help me fulfill it? when i dying only know how to "okok", "promise" PUI ALL THE BULLSHIT I HEARD ENOUGH. family? what family ? i grew up on my own after you DAD threw me in hostel and thats were everything changed i became worst if you didnt realized. but thankfully my temper now can be controlled :)

gonna sleep soon. one word for now "DISAPPOINTMENTS"

xoxo  

HAD A GREAT DAY AT CLEMENT'S CHALET 

okay la abit la .... :/

pictures taken but sadly didnt have the chance to take with the birthday boy 

but it's alright :)

 ADRIAN PAPAYA !

 QIAN HUI !

 LOVE THIS TWO I SWEAR :) 

 JOLVEST !

MARYN ! see her cheeks so red after ONLY half a shot of barcadi 151 !

suppose to wake adrian up ytd to meet at nex before heading to clement's chalet but it became the other round haha ! was damn tired i swear didnt even want to wake up.

went to prepare and rushed out as usual . met adrian and i went to buy a present for the birthday boy .

money fly . but birthdays are only once in a year so i guess it's alright .

headed down and saw may people there surprising that yutat was there too. jeremy came down, jayson and yeah quite afew. hang around till around 9 plus and headed back home. oh ya most epic was the flaming barcari . melvin went to light it uo and caught himself on fire. yeah half of his face was on fire. but it was damn scary i swear . but i guess he does have guts if it was me i sure cry :(

came home and around 12-1 plus some drunkard called and came . out of nowhere .

hais really dont know what to do . i guess i'll follow with the flow.

this kind of things also no one can b e blamed. you either win or lose. those who thinks by fighting will solve everything are just plain immature and stupid, can be bothered with such nonsense either.

and for one thing i hate people who don't reply . especially when i'm talking about serious shit it just makes me hate you and beng hated by me is not a good thing :)

smart people know how to choose . okay i am so tired and i slept for like 3 hours plus only . cause i went out for awhile to send some idiot to the bus stop to go home. after eating breakfast i guess im going back to sleep . and sadly by tattoo session has been postpone t next week :( and i have to start using my money wisely i'm left with that little much after paying for my tattoo .

my god i really can't wait eve though i am kinda scared but i am also excited :)

okay shall end here for now !!!

xoxo

i aint perfect but i can try to be perfect for you if i really love you 

sudden break down today . i feel awful really feel like shit. idk why but i know i am emotionally stressed out. 

good guys are hard to come by these days . actually bad boys can be good but they choose to be the other way round. kind funny isn't it? i guess they still think that girls like the bad boys.

i just realize there are afew people who talk my fb and blog sia. today small small (korkor's gina) call me ask which guy this and that timo also ask me why recently why i so emo and all. probably things are just not going the way i thought it would be. now is the period of time where i will see who will be there for me and such . in some others eyes i will always be that lil baby sam . even though they always say i am a strong girl i can pull through any obstacles. but everyone will still break down one day no matter how strong they are,

i guess tmr not going to the where already . it's hard to face people when my heart is all crumpled on the ground. i really need a break. but i'm gonna get something. then when i see him then pass his present .

stayed home the whole day . im such a goo girl hahah NOT . 

dear mood swing please behave and stop being like a ticking time bomb :(

xoxo

this post is for you if you are gonna read this .

this song is BE YOUR EVERYTHING ,

Four letter word

But I don't have the guts to say it

Smile til it hurts

Let's not make it complicated

We got a story

But I'm about to change the ending

You're perfect for me

More than just a friend so we can just stop pretending now

Gotta let you know somehow

I'll be your shelter

I'll be your storm

I'll make you shiver

I'll keep you warm

Whatever weather

Baby I'm yours

Be your forever, Be your fling

Baby, I will be your everything

im not gonna be afraid of who is gonna see this post anymore. but i guess there is no mor hiding for what i am feeling inside. i dont know how to make you believe me but i'm sure i ain't lying to you .
yeah if we are meant to be we will be together someday . i just wanna see you happy. hate quarrels especially over small little things. i know none of us is perfect . but yeah i am still trying. i know it aint easy for the both of us cause we have been hurt badly one way or another. let just leave time to do its own bidding .
i care i really do. please dot doubt about my feelings.

xoxo

I DON'T LIVE TO PLEASE YOU BITCHES ! 

come into my life and stay or just leave you if you want to. i will only stop you if you mean something to me .

life is such . live with what you have and stop comparing .

recently too many problems. getting tired of all the dramas around. and tired of all those contradicting feelings that people are giving me . yeah i am a very straight forward person. if i feel something is wrong i will ask questions like "you like me uh?" and all those stuff people normally dont ask . but well that is me . 

i don't expect you to like me either , cause what makes you think that i like you too ?

recently have been quarreling with alot of people and i dont feel good about it either . 

today i with one of my close friend can say i kinda dote on him . and i literally burst and ki with him at nex. 

but yeah i apologized and all i hope he doesnt take it to heart. i really didnt mean to.

saw C today but didnt talk . idk la I HATE CONTRADICTING RUBBISH !

dont wish to talk about it either. those who know they will know . for those who doesnt dont need to kaypo also. well hope he is feeling better . 

quarreled with pearlyn also =.= seriously damn ridicules. chervin talk to me and all what's the problem also ? we are just friends . yeah ian not my boyfriend but he was someone i liked before and you follow him on twitter also i also never say anything and already say chervin your ex . this thing reminds me of when vivien is sensitive when me and robert close tat time. MY GOD . what the fuck is wrong people this few days . bth . 

think out of the box leh . doesnt mean you dont like someone another person cannot be close with the person you dont like. sorry i'm not that kind of person unless the person got huan dio me .

tmr steamboat with adrain papaya , his gf and edwin jessica and i think still have others.

and then sunday chalet clements birthday i still dont know what to give him or what dk should give also anot .

later people anyhow think again .

and for the last umpteen of times i am saying this I AM SINGLE FOR A REASON. 

i dont wish to get hurt again. i know it has been already a year but it still haunts me every now and then i dont have the faith to be in another relationship . whenever i open my heart a little bit i will bound to get hurt also . 

idk why but i guess this is karma . poor me... haha NOT . just a lesson for me to choose a right person !

that day will come eventually , why ruch into a relationship when one is not ready ? if you are unwilling to wait you can really just go . cause i will only go for the best . gonna end here ! goodnight people !!

xoxo

i'm gonna blog before i really explode . now i got money that what one by one all come look for me ?

not i dont want to fucking help , if i didnt have the money will you all ask =.= 

thats why i dont even wanna tell anyone regardless you my best friend or whatsoever . now what cause i dont wanna lend and help you then quarrel then another best friend go back to his old self already . fucking forget it already , from now on i'm not gonna listen to anyone. not gonna help anyone, 

yeah everyone only think about themselves . everytime i think for others now i cannot pamper myself and think for myself ? GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK .

enough of all this. so fucking stressed and everything and one by one is pissing me off. i have my limits too. want to play with fire prepare to get burnt .. one by one keep asking me to give them an answer if i like them anot. if i like someone i wont even say and i say before . i'm single for a reason . if not why am i still not attached for coming to a year ? kindly use your brains. and if i like you i will keep quarrel with the person .

people are all changing. dont expect one to be the same as always . 

this is gonna be a short post . cause i'm too pissed right now . 

xoxo

Be your own kind of beautiful .

there is no ugly nor perfect person in this world. 

each and everyone is beutiful in their own unique way 

today abit zi lian uh :)

 andric didi and me :)

me and maryn again :)

today slept all the way until 5 plus till maryn and edwin call me up. this few days aways rush to go out haha!

met them at nex and we headed down to town. YES CINE a place which i havent been to for a dam long time. saw jaee with wayne there ! so happy to see jaee somehow ! then this edwin (strawberry) saw me then he msg me i at where i said i was at cine then he say i standing there do what i jitao turn around he laugh at me :( and today tio pangseh at cine by zarius, andric , edwin and jessica! wahhh was super angry at first but after that it was all fine cause we all met each other again at serangoon central mac. and saw rapheal, yixuan,keith and robert :) 

so many problems worry for so many people also :( why so many thunderstorms when will it all be over .

BE WHEN I REACH HOME I SUPER HAPPY ! RECIEVED KORKOR'S LETTER !

say he confirm celebrate birthday with me ! and he also like fierce lo . say why i mix with .......

if anything happen to me they will get it. fierce brother but i know he cares alot and really alot ! 

and he is coming out soon ! love korkor always and forever !

okay i shall end here for tonight !

good night people hope tomorrow will be a better day !

xoxo

I guess this is gonna be quite a long post and some pictures will do the talking :)

see my hair is getting longer and i LIKE it !! don't know what is wrong with me this few days. jitao super emotional over certain things and some other reasons that i dont want to say for now and stuff. 

getting more afraid to be closer to people as i do not want to see people leaving me . feelings have been wavering. and that is what frighten's me the most :( ARGH HATE WHAT I AM FEELING NOW !

i don't want to get into trouble or be a laughing stock or even creating another big HOO HA in my life. 

well enough of all this shit .

went out with Zarius, Maryn, Jessica and Edwin today wanted to see the fireworks but ended up didnt go cause it was already over . DAMN early this year . so went to nex instead to watch movie. wasn't exactly happy cause someone like a moody only :/ mehh ... Idk la :( i bet something is wrong with me .

after the movie we headed home and here i am watching movies and blogging away . and it has been two days since i touched maple . dk if i should play for an hour later anot . se my mood.

hope dad gives me money tr i am BROKE and really BROKE to the core :(

 me and maryn at wave house 

 the two samanthas of the night !

EPIC SHIT . here is robert. so drunk that he didnt remember taking any pictures :)

smart boy ! 

wave house SUCKS i swear i will never go to another beach party ever again. happy to see so many people though yet kinda pissed off also. and i was also worried for afew people at the same time especially Z and that sill bear of mine . one disappeared phone dead and teddy keep walking around and even fought and got his hand injured . sigh .so many things in my mind so troubled but cant tell anyone how i feel either .

people can't always be trusted . SAMMY PLEASE WAKE UP TO REALITY !

THIS IS A LATE PHOTO !

DURING OUR TRIP TO USS !!!

GABRIEL, PEARLYN, SAMANTHA AND ME !

it was AWESOME but teddy threw up a couple of times. but we still had fun :)

okay gonna end here :) toodles !

xoxo

YEAH THIS IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN DOING WHEN I NUA AT HOME AND NEVER GO OUT FOR WEEKS.

  MY E WORD CHARACTER MERCEDES 

MY AQUALIA CHARACTER DEMON SLAYER 

so darn lazy to train i swear . after awhile it get boring i really don't know how guys can play until so long.

went to meet zarius and taigog today . bluff me say go hougang green end up back at nex waste my bus fair !

see them play arcade and then some wet to play maple at LAN .

zarius left and we went to central to eat mac/tao huay.

tis zarius keep ask me to play at izar world. walao so lazy to play still want me to play :(

most of them left and only left me maryn and keith waited for BEST FRIEND cloud to come dont slack for awhile and headed home.

and stupi dofficer keep calling kan annoying . mother also one kind dont know how to help me one cb, now want home arrest ten come lo . i dont give a fuck . stupid lanjiao taiji not my problem keep want me go for what . stupid girls . underage that time keep say hiong all then wot paotoh all.

never paotoh my ass la. knn scared then shoot people who are not involve =.=

okay i should not get angry over fucked up things. back to maple soon . :)

IN AFEW HOURS TIME WILL BE TA USS WITH MY LOVELIES AND TEDDY !

GONNA HAVE A BLAST ^^

xoxo