"IN A BLINK OF AN EYE"

didnt blog for quite some time already i think about a month. so here is a picture of the current me when i am all dolled up. i know i look VERY different with and without make up but yeah i hardly put on make up unless there is some special occasions. this month has been a rough month. lot's of quarrels with family and friends things always dont go our way right ? sometimes just have to suck thumb.

tmr is my vourt day again really hop it postpones or get a good and light sentence. i really don't wanna be away from my boy again. 9 whole months being alone is no joke. the waiting is really lonely. 

well i have come to learn that people don't stay in our lives forever and people will always take each other for granted too. but well i believe in karma and retribution and the good people will always be rewarded .

tired of such a "ahlian' life already really had enough of all this drama. just wanna lead a good happy life with the people i love. get married have a family on my own. 

currently addicted to the song " what do you want from me" by adam lambert. damn hot i swear :)

hope gabriel and jessica are doing well in their relationship but like what i always believe everything is about taking things slowly and working out with each other and giving in but not all the time.

bestie jeremy is in canada now till 5th oct and i miss his rubbish alot even though he does whatsaap me but yeah our timings always like a crash cause of the timings here and there. hope he faster comes back its really boring without him !

went to laopa's place today was really happy to see ace didi ( well he will always be my didi even if he denies it) but at the same time didnt have the courage to talk to him after that long cold war that we sort of had. well i hope i will be able to just open my mouth and talk to him soon :)

20 more days my dear. t has been a long wait. really hope you will be a changed person and never hurt me again. even though i don't exactly trust you but i have faith in you. buck up my dear i know you can do it if you pt your hear into it. you know you mean the world to me. i never ever wanna lose you . just dont take me fro granted and appreciate me more. do wait for my last 2 visits and i will be there to fetch you on the day of your release . 2 more days to our 1 year 1 month anniversary how time flies doesnt it.

i love you since 25082012

samantha jamie yeo loves desmond lin jiaqi 

3 MONTHS OF NOT BLOGGING AND NOW I AM BACK !

just felt that recently i have alot of things in mind so yeah blogging it out might make me actually feel better i hope.if you are reading this not happy with whatever i write that's your damn problem cause this is my blog :)

life hasn't been exactly good for me. kidney failure, pending court case and still not knowing the sentence is really stressing me out each time it's being postpone, baby's release is nearing and yet still don't know where they are gonna place him and i dont want him to end up at half way house. i don't want to be apart from him anymore.all this waiting really has made me tired mentally, my heart is still there, fighting to be alive till this day is because of him, people might say i am stupid cause he cheated on me and everything and it wasn't the first time but this time i believe he will change for the better i have faith in him, i hope everything i do is worth wile. while fighting all these obstacles in my life i have learnt that not every friend is your friend. and the closest to you will always stab you say things about you behind your back like a cunning fox, looks are always deceiving but i believe people will get back what they deserve. no one deserves to be treated like shit. pride and ego is nothing to me now. used to be a stucked up bitch i guess that made me go nowhere. i have to be humble forgive those who have hurt me concentrate on my future. get married to the man i love start a family and take care of my own family even though it hurts to know after 20 years of my life i know that i am adopted but everything we still need to face life and the truth. many people might think and say " wow sam is so strong" but you know what i might appear strong and everything but just like any other ordinary person i'm hurting and struggling at times too .it ain't easy many times i really want to give up everything but i tel myself this as long as one person needs me i will fight to stay alive despite all the treatment that i have to go through. end of the day i believe....

EVERYONE DESERVES A SECOND CHANCE TO START ANEW , 

\

ok now talking about my relationship. well i miss you alot i really do you got no idea how much i am struggling without you. how much i cry myself to sleep at night hoping you were beside me hugging me telling me everything will be alright and you will always be here. this month will be our 1 year anniversary yet you wouldnt be here with me still. this country is too small too little places to go and everywhere that i go will remind me of you. you know that feeling when all the memories just come back? even the painful ones. just hope all your words in your letter you really mean them. i am really waiting for a changed you .

wherever you are my heart always belongs to you, you will always be the boy i love. the boy that i want to spend my life with. please dont hurt me again and treasure this last chance when you are out .

EVEN IF THERE ARE A MILLION REASONS FOR ME TO LEAVE I WILL STILL FIND THAT ONE REASON TO STAY .

TOTOCAI FAMILY 

one thing in my 21 years of my life i never regret knowing them and having them. though we come from different families,different races,different background,different places we come together as a family. i'm never upset whenever they are with me and this is one thing i really thank my boyfriend for leaving me with them to count on when he is in. the bond that binds us all together is really awesome just like a real family always there for each other. we dont need to everyday meet but whenever anyone needs help we know we can count on each other, my awesome sibling are all so cute in each of their own way and really worth fighting and doting on. i love you all ...

ONCE A FAMILY ALWAYS A FAMILY

laopa,samantha,xiaolong,adrean,ace,ahbee,roger,belle,roysoon,wayne,ryan 

THAT IS ALL FOR NOW ! GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE !

HELLO IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I HAVE BLOGGED !

did anyone miss my rubbish? i know it has been months and it has been a rough month with many things happening many unpredictable moments and uncontrollable emotions.

well here i am gona post and update afew things as i am unable to sleep i wonder why i am so wode awake also. sadly many people that are close with me all one by one going in and it really pains me to see them going to be locked awya from me and others :( but what to do ? do the crime you pay the price.

junbi, guanlin and ryan didi all going to court and gona get sentence :( sigh. made new friends lost friends but still life goes on right? and sad to say i still wanna find that slut ashley so those who know where is she do let me know alrght and it will be greatly appreciated too :) certain things really hurt me alot that that causes me to take revege i guess it is in my blood. but oh well this is life and hello i am the victim so why should people pity that dirty lice girl okay shall stop talking about her and carry on with my post !

DESMOND LIN JIA QI AKA XIAOLONG 

my dearest baby do you know how much that i miss you waiting for your letters are really killing me they are taking forever to come and sometimes i think too much thinking that you have forgotten about me :(

you promised not to cheat on me and to lie to me ever again we will see by your actions when you are out alright. it's another 4 months and 27 days and you will be out and coming back into my arms. i miss your love your hgs your kisses your presence. yes you have hurt me badly but i decided to give you this last chance do not spoil it and take things for granted anymore. i love you now and forever .i am still waiting for you to properly propose to me okay ! hehehe i love you !

I'M SAMANTHA JAMIE YEO !

growing more mature each year right? see my last time pictures and now my i sure have changed :)

SVEN SEAH !

my favourite right hand boy and lil brother !it's kinda weird when he is not with me. sady he has a sucked up family that put him inside boys home and now serving his term in boys hostel . this boy never fails to cheer me up and comfort me whenever i am down and looking after me when my boy went in. i really do't know what to do if i lose him in my life. okay it sounds like he is my boyfriend now hahaha BUT IT'S NOT. he is just some one i really dote and love alot as a brother. i miss this boy tons .

 XIAOKEN

this by here always give me alot of trouble the most in fact but i still dote on him at times. scold him the most not because i hate him because i care i want him to learn to become better and do think before doing things or whatsoever . still he has alot more to learn. but he did change for the better but hopefully it can be more consistent :)

HONG GUI

my meow meow boy. one of the youngest for now but the biggest size but super lazy :) 

but he is cute right hahaha ! nothing much to talk about this cute biy case he never give me any problem except for meowing most of the time.

 YEOW YONG SHENG

this boy the youngest and i dote on him alot too but yes he did something that pissed me off last year. but things have been cleared already and hopefully he has changed and learn how to behave properly and not behave like a monkey wherever he go! 

thats all for now i know you areaders might find me weird why i talking about my boys it's because they are special and i love them tons they are a part of my life and this is my blog if you people are unhappy you can dont read because like i said this is my blog :)

PEACE OUT ! 

" one day i'll be your bride "

i love wearing white dresses it makes me feel like i'm gonna get married . and i know who i want to get married to. guess who ? YES IT'S DESMOND LIN JI QI .

he may be a rotten cad in people's eyes but he loves me for being me. and isn't loving someone suppose to love them despite their flaws? he's not perfect but neither am i and that is what makes us special and perfect in our own way and it pisses me off whenever people want to come between us. 

well days are lonely without baby but i guess now i know that he will always will be with me as long as i am breathing and he will always be in my heart and mind. i am never alone . yes physically i am but mentally and emotionally i will be strong. two more weeks to baby's court. tmr i shall call cpc to ask if i can visit. i'm getting abit impatient already .

gonna write to baby in awhile's time. one day he will realize how much i have been doing for him .

and that day i will really be happy , it's gonna be a long time that i can hug baby again, the thought really kills . sigh , my boy i miss you . gonna do my schedule later . draw a calender using drawing block :)

shall end here .

ending a picture with baby. i miss how he always act so cool when we take pictures. but isn't he cute . i miss that smile on my face. will it ever come back ?

i miss my xiao long long long :(

xoxo

" i will be right here waiting for you "

my dear boy it's been 5 days since you are not by my side. there is so much to tell you about, i miss you terribly and i am not doing fine without you. i'm really trying to pull through this baby teach me to be strong teach me to hold on till the end. tell me that you love me tell me that you miss me. i just want to hold you in my arms again kiss your tender lips and all. is like really testing us ? stay close don't go alright? have faith and don't give up cause i did not give up on you . i'll always be here for you .

this i promise you.... 

 writing to you has become a part of my daily life. anytime anywhere i would just sit and starting writing .

even if i need to write for years i will still do .

see how much we have changed from the first day we got together till now . you weren't a mistake yet you were a gem in disguise . though we had our hard times we still pulled through and i guess this is gonna be the biggest obstacle that we are facing now . if our love is strong and true we will still grow old together :) remember we said in 5 years time we will get married and have a life on our own? i'm still holding on and waiting for this day . i hope you do too .

 be good inside baby i'm doing everything i can to help you but you got to help yourself too.

come out we start afresh no more rubbish and all just you and me. 

working hard for our future. wait for my letters and visits alright. i'll see you at court on the 13th with the rest. 

it isn't home without you therefore i make sure everything around me reminds me of you .

I LOVE YOU DESMOND LIN JIA QI !

I'LL BE WAITING 

" as much as we quarrel please note that i still love you dearly "

i really dont know how to talk to you. sometimes i just really want to vomit blood . 

i don't know what to do so that you can understand. i'm trying but i guess maybe i'm just not good enough.

each day i worry for you hopig nothing will ever happen to you . yeah this heart of mine is not totally working 100% but this heart loves you whole heartedly no matter what a dick head you are. 

please tell me what to do really cause at times i just want to give up everything. is not that i don't love you is just that i'm so tired and i don't want to be a burden to you .

i don't cry neither will i beg you if you want to go . i just want you to be happy.

but always remember i never regretted being with you .

love me , SJY . to yoU DLJQ

I FIND MY BOYS ARE DAMN CUTE AT TIMES.

im so lazy to blog so shall post pictures and type abit here and there .

this were taken on NEW YEAR. so yup late pic upload .

the youngest and the noisiest .

roy 

my right hand sven :)

xiaoken