you gave up.
you dont know how much you did to actually tear me right open.
do you know what i am feeling?
she resembles your ex? then have to try go for her and have feelings for her?
you got no idea how much it's hurting
if you chose to leave dont care for me anymore.
if you say it's cause of korkor i'll tell him myself .
i dont want to be your responsibility.
whatever happens to me from today on just dont care.
till now im still crying . that how bad im really hurt.
past few days because of this i havent been going to school either its a stupid excuse but i feel like shit
i dont have the mood for anything.
i lost i got replaced. or maybe i was never in your heart at all.
i miss you i wished everything could be like before.
but there is her now im not needed .

난 아직도 당신이 제발 사랑하는 것은두고 우리를 포기하지 마
 

IT WAS FUN WHILE IT LASTED GOODBYE TO THOSE DAYS ^^

before even things started .

mum asked me how was me and jet i was like "mum we aint together he was just fooling around and he has a girlfriend already " mum saw his current one and was shock why he chose that kind of ahem . but well it' his life and i got mine. wont be fretting over shitty people who takes things for granted.

have been really careful but at the same time keeping everything open .

only people that ii have been texting lately is jaee , mika, tiger, ian and maybe afew other girls but practically none form ph. i guess the dead me is already there .heh heh .

seeing old pictures bring back memories and actually shows alot of things that should have happen and those that should not have happened in the first place . im glad im slowly trying to overcome what has happen and move on. and recently i just realize that the guys i have the hots on have been to prison before am i cool or weird or what ? haha . who cares as long people are willing to change for the better right? okay thats all for ow. have been a long week not going to school. and tonight im gonna party hell with my girls at club shake tonight . see you all around and spot me there if you are going tonight !

sometimes it's just good to be drunk dead on the floor.


woke up with zurio's text saying he on the way for enlistment. i'm so gonna miss him being around.
jaee is not replying me and he check in into sub court . he obviously doesn't know he is making me worry .everything keep to himself thinking it would be the best.seriously i got nothing to say really just hope he walks out fine.
didnt go to school again something is wrong with my heart . ever since that day i have been weaker then ever. dad keep refusing i should be admitted again . but i don't want to . what's the point things will still be like that for me.
so i also have to accept the fact . tmr still have chalet and i am only going if boi is going cause of some people going there. when he leaving i'm also leaving . thursday go nuh then meet timo go cpc visit korkor.
but i must go school tmr. seriously main reason i havent been going to school cause of the things that are happening around my soul is not in the mood to even study i have been stressing about alot of things lately . and it kinda sucks but some how i couldn't help it.
gonna meet yuki and shirley in awhiles time. im not suppose to go out but yeah i dont want to be just stuck at home doing absolutely nothing.
will blog agaon tonight if i am bored . gonna prepare and head out ^^

deleted every post that used to me posted . gonna forget everything that happened .

living one day at a time. though it is not gonna be easy and it's gonna hurt but there is no other place.

i've regretted what i done but time is running out for me and even some others. maybe by the time i'm gone some of them havent forgive me yet. this is all pre destined . it's not a matter of choice but it's plain fate .

i thank those who have been there for me like mika, sharon, zurio.

im sorry those i had disappointed . especially my dage, each time i see our pictures i just could stop but cry .

i failed you as a sister you were always there clearing up my mess but ths time i really made a big mistake i'm so sorry . i dont know when you will ever forgive me but i know i dont deserve your forgiveness either.

i know jaee has his own methods in doing things and caring. i didnt see that till now. i havent been truthful with him either for those past weeks. i dont deserve you either . i hope you'll be fine tmr . i'm really happy that you are taking you photography seriously . al the best alright.

everyone is going in or leaving . got to be independent on my own . to be alone or go anywhere or do things alone.i have to stop depending on others on everything.

thursday will be visiting korkor with timo . gonna apologize and confess all the shit i have done . it's gonna be hard to say sorry cause i didnt want to disappoint him either but i did anyway .

even if he decides to cut ties i deserve it too. 

have been staying home the whole day just to weak to even go out or go to school. those going to avatar and those who asked me to go im sorry i wont be going .

to those going to be enlist tomorrow like zurio, yutat, louis and faiz all the best . when you book out i'll see you guys around. 

to my brother small small zurio.

this post specially for you . i know you have been hurting on you own for some time already.

cheer up alright. im here for you too like you were there for me even though you know the shit i have done.

tmr you are enlisting already . we will still be contact alright . you know i will be waiting for you to book out so we can hang out and party again. everything in life now sucks for the both of us. but we will try to hold on cause we got each other and remember what we promised to hang on also for fire's sake. it's not easy going through this hurts but i know we can do it somehow. i myself is not confidant but i will try with what i have left. you know im a phone call away. this few weeks we have been close maybe cause of the unhappiness we have in our life. the lightness will cover up out darkness soon in our hearts, love you zurio ! forever that brother i will always look up to at times even though you are younger than me ^^

got to study hard now and stop thinking about other stuff already 

oh ya another thing is i'm glad ian's court got postpone!

okay heading out to meet boi ! bye!