"it's the little things that counts."

ytd was me and baby's 3rd month together. time really flies and tmr joseph will be coming out already.

went to bugis ytd with baby and guoming went to watch BREAKING DAWN part 2 IT WAS AWESOME! when the CD is out i'm so gonna buy it ! 

baby bought chocolate for e and it's so pretty that i don't even bear to eat it. but i had a great day despite i was kinda pissed off that we spended don't know how long in the arcade and it gave me a damn bad headache.. saw patrick and clement at bugis . clement so cute when he botak haha .

i know teddy is gonna need me this period of time ad i promised to be there for him. what are bestfriends for right . i got no idea what to blog oh well i guess gonna bathe and then head ot back to beach road. tummy isn't doing very well though :(

xoxo

" despite all the quarrels we have know that i'll always be here "

back home from my boy's house . hope he is doing fine on his first day of work. gonna blog and watch glee an vampire dairies until i'm tired and i shall take my nap .

bby has to really learn how to think, always get scolding from korkor my heart also pain but what korkor say makes sense and it is what i have ALWAYS been saying but nothing seems to get into bby's head. sigh . hope as time goes he will grow mentally and be more mature 

daddy called today to ask how is my eye sight and i had breakfast with mummy and chit chat with her . i guess after knowing so many things about my real self i tend to change abit for the better too .

ohh yeah i don't know to be happy anot but texted fire and he replied even though he was asking me about something eles but i am still happy.
if miracles do exist my biggest wish is that fire and bby will forget the past and stop putting me in a spot to choose between them  sigh

thank god for bby's court post pone too! have another one month to be with baby and our 3rd month is in two days time ! Gary an Jaslyn;s wedding also coming already still need to try on dress and all . can't wait somehow. caught up with teddy and jeremy ths week already so i guess there are still quite a number of people i have to catch up with. and people i didnt forget anyone okay i might just be kinda busy with afew things and all. okay shall end here for now !

xoxo

" To COMMIT is to SACRIFICE many things you DON'T want to LOSE."

mentally. motionally and physically crushed that sometimes i tend to hit myself vigorously. never been this sane in my whole entire life. i really don't know what to do anymore and even at times i just want to give EVERYTHING UP. 

pointless and going nowhere . that boy's attitude, temper and true colors are coming out already and i can't tolerate it. many times i wanted to smash him yet in the end of the day i still break down and cry and him not knowing how painful it is within. 

sometimes i wonder how muchmore selfish can he be. i have reasons not ltting certain people do certain things and for his case is because they ar not good for him yet he doesn't see the good intensions i have yet he turns them into restrictions. it's not about a hug or a kiss that can solve everything even a simple sorry doen't help at times . oh well life has been cruel . i wonder when will god take me away .

i tried 2 times yet he wantd me to continue living in this world. seriously i had enough torture.

currently at home, and i am feeling quite relax more than ever then i was at beach road. 

i smll freedom coming in afew days time but also sadness and loneliness at the same time.

really don;t know how to feel i guess after blogging im just gonna take a nap and sleep it all away for awhile. i realy miss my bed no doubt so much more comfortable then a fucking tidum. 

home alon isn't as bad as i thought it would be. mum's at the centre and she will only be back by 5 ..

okay shall stop here for today .

xoxo

"Never thought i would have such a life. the only way i can continue in life is to deal with it and accept it."

my mind is in a whirl after hearing truth about my life i am really speechless yet somewhere deep inside me is telling me i should be grateful and change for the better . i guess after ytd my life has to be changed.

it's hard i admit i really wanted to end myself but as i thought about it i guess im one grateful bitch that has been given this life not just once but actually it's already my third . escaping from death twice yet i'm still behaving like shit i must be ashamed of myself . 

lost fire and company i guess due to the way i was and partly was also the past problems fire and baby had with each other. no doubts i miss them i miss my brother fire. but life still has to go on. yeah i was to dependent on them i guess it's time to grow up in a way and count on myself .

anyway i hope justine and jazreel are okay . my condolences to them . i really pray they stay strong i know it's not easy as easy as it is said.

mummy is finally discharged from the hospital and yeah have been back home for dinner with baby and helping mummy around with the house work and chores. now i know how tiring doing house work can be. 

but enjoyed cooking with mummy and baby and eatig the food we had cooked. feels so blessful :)

  

this boy of mine really pissed me off almost everyday. recently have been many quarrels almost causeing each other to end this whole relationship. i guess it's kinda surprising how two of us can still last till now as both of us were "players" before we got together, but no doubt i love him despite all the shit i have to go through like loosing my friends and all . he may still act like a kid but i know he loves me just as much as i love him and yeah i know i ave to be prepared that he is going in and i am gonna be outside here without him. i'll wait as long as he keeps to his promise that he will change. no regrets . boy i may not know how long we will last but i promise as long as you are trying i will stay .

love at first sight? or maybe it's just fate :)

TEDDY IS FINALLY OUT !

he has no idea how happy i am and i really can't wait to see him again .

i miss my silly bear . he is my best friend and brother the one who has never left me despite the quarrels and arguements with have over things and people.

teddy if you do read my blog PLEASE BE GOOD ALRIGHT !

i dont wanna see my precious teddy going in again !

okay i shall end here i got to go off soon !

xoxo

Everyone has a past we can either leave it behind or remember it for life.

people do bear grudges but how long can one hold it in?

it will just make one simply miserable and pathetic

SORRY PEOPLE THAT I HAVENT BEEN BLOGGING! 

did anyone miss me? haha . have been rather busy spending time with my baby . time is never enough with him. today went to court and yeah i did pray that baby's court could be postpone and thank god he has another 18 days with me. yeah this is the second court hearing but yet i have never been prepared for him to go in. i guess i can't accept the fact that he has to go in and all. sigh but this is life not everything goes the way we want it to be.  

 yes we quarrel we fight do all sorts of shit together but no matter how pissed i am with him i can never get mad at him for long. 

 my siam kia cute anot? 

MINE !

not to be shared with unless you want to get a punch from me :)

I wonder how is teddy doing inside. heard that he has lost 5kg ever since he went in. though i am kinda pissed off that he lied to me that he is together back with yu hong but i guess as long as my best friend is happy i will be happy for him as well.

just as before your silly bear is waiting for you to come out just like last year when you were in DRC. i guess you damn sway or i can say fated to be with that fucking ROLEX on your leg !

okay i'm gonna end off here gonna sleep soon anyway later SJY will be at town ! catch me there if you do see me !

xoxo .