life is such SHIT happens all the time .

stayed home today as i was too LAZY to even step outside only went out to buy food. and i'm gonna be so broke cause i kkeep spending my money on food. and tomorrow eating at chomps again ! argh can't wait !

me SJY can't live without eating . every hour also find food and still so small size ! whyyyy !

okay enough of talking about food. i guess today isn't my day. quarreled with teddy and very disappointed with a certain friend. i'm so tired of caring cause why care when no one is gonna listen and bother .

this is for you teddy :

i'm not angry with you at all i'm disappointed by the way you think that i didnt care and i was having fun outside and all wheni wasn't . i told you many times but how many times did my words fall on deaf ears. there's a point of time when i say things and continuously you dont listen i'll get tired emotionally cause i will feel that i havent been a good friend enough for you . i dote on you i care as much as i can but dont take it for granted can? you can get angry with everyone and the whole world but think who were the ones who really take your rubbish and try to help you . yes in a way i gave up advising you but i never gave up our friendship and all . and it hurt when you said if i want to poon with you . seriously ? due to such things you want to go this far till cutting contact im fine with it if it makes you happy really . that's why i rather not reply you . maybe you don't understand but like i say before you will always be my teddy good or bad you are stil my teddy the one i dote on ad the one who i will be there for if you fall , no matter how weak i am i will still pull you up when you fall . you have made it this far just another 2 more months and you will be freeman. i kow you can do it. i don't want to see you getting into trouble anymore . if till now you still think that i dont care and all i really dont know what eles to say anymore .

honestly while typing this whole paragraph for you tears fill my eyes . but i'm not gonna let my tears drop either. i just hope you know that i care is just that this point of time i'm having my own difficulties too. you are not the only one going through so much pain .

to one of my babes G :

i know you must be feeling like fuck cause i was damn straight forward to you about certain things saying that you change boyfriend like changing panties . but seriously babe how many times you want this cycle to repeat again? you are lucky mika clam me down somehow if not i would have posted much more shit and you know i mean what i say . maybe yeah you feel lonely therefore you lack of love and everything and therefore as a girl it's naturally they will want a boyfriend and stuff. but babe you told us yourself you want to take things slow and end up just afew days later you are together with him already ? do you know him well ? can you cnfirm he won't break your heart like what the past guys did? you say i don't understand where that's where you are wrong. haven't you heard about my stories the past year till now? fom jet, nitez.timo, jaee? how many things i have to deal ? it's far worst then you . and i did many shit in the process too and where did i end up? losing almost half of my life my friends and even close ones those i never wanted to lose like nitez. but i did shit and therefore i have to bear the consequences. neither mika or i wanna see you goingthey same way i did. if you already think you are going through alot what about others what about me? two years ago you saw me dying in the hospital in ICU for two months . but i still fought to be alive even though i wanted to just leave this fucked up world. sometimes yor really have to use your head before you lose everyone in your life. i've learnt my lesson therefore i dare to say all this . jaee and i didnt work out but i really learn alot through the way somehow and i am grateful for that .
go please go and think if what i said is wrong and dont have that attitude of selective hearing . what's the use of a loud big mouth but no brains to think? and you wanna be vulgar ? say thse words to someone eles cause i'm far worst then you and you know it. what you trying to prove? i really got no comments . like i say before if me and mika as friends dont care about you i wont be bothered if you are upset and all. and this time you get dumped or whatsoever dont come crying to us cause we told you you didnt want to listen oly got yourself to blame .


OMG THIS BLOG POST KAN LONG !

it;s been 10 days since i  last saw you and i miss you almost every single day despite knowing i'll never be with you cause i guess i'm not your type either so i will only keep you in my heart. see you from afar i'm still contented . as long as you are happy i will be happy for you . i guess i'll see you if i do head down .

okay i have to stop blogging bye !!

xoxo

   

DAY OUT WITH MY FELLOW KIDDOS ^^

KEITH >>NEPHEW 

ADELE>>NOISY GIRL

BRANDON >> DIDI/BRO

RAPHAEL >>DIDI 

 ON THE WAY TO TOWN! 

(apparently keith is sitting opposite us)

CROWN POOL :)

okay apparently i'm still awake cause i fell asleep on the sofa when i got home. met the kiddos today. went to eat at nex and waited for didi to come down with TAO HUAY ! haha damn shiok ! old airports tao huay !! anyway last minute we went to town for i dont know whatever reasons but yeah the 5 of us were like in our usual kumpong clothes and we went down to cine/scape dressing like that . but who cares luh. see the new batch of "cine kids" dont know want to laugh also. age range of 13-17 sitting there smoking away and all dressed up like they are fucking mature. HELLO UNDERAGE END OF THE DAY IT'S STILL YOUR DAMN IC =.= i guess they dont get it anyway.

met daddy (jayson) and bumped into adammm !!! played afew rounds of pool before heading back home. was quite a fun day today . i think we damn cek ark at certain stuff hahaha. but i like ! 

and i can't believe some people can even lie about things when the prove is in my hands . oh i forgot not everyone knows about it. thats the problem when you cross my path too many times and try to step all over me. well whoever wanna continue i dont mind playing along with you :)

muahahahaha *evil laugh*

i miss that boy . he was being angsty again today . well i only know i'm not the one who can cheer him up but i still i always hope he would be happy and dont get into trouble.

 . i think i damn useless and hopeless whenever i see him. sighhh . okay dont wanna talk about it already .

i wonder what time will i be sleepy :/ scully later the kiddos wanna meet again then rabbak cannot wake up.

hmms shall stop here  dont know what to say already :/ suddenly thinking about stupid stuff ARGHH FML!

xoxo

its like 5:30 and i am still not asleep. still happily watching my show . argh JERRY YAN damn HOT !

was slacking at mac just now with vivien, kenny,rachel and bg, had damn lots of laughter . 

well i must say rachel is not bad after all i guess:) anyway i think i can say i made a new friend today .

today have 3 people birthday so 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO KENNY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SHERRY 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NANA !

the lil devil has gone to sleep . he thinks im being rubbish but actually i kinda meant what i was tweeting oh wells . like i said i guess i have fallen in love with a devil and my heart is in hell.

this cycle has been going round and roud but somehow not as bad at the past ones. i guess i know what i am doing also. 

WHY AM I NOT TIRED !

and i am feeling hungry all the time seeshhh can't stand myself . only know how to eat sleep and party 

tonight kenny's birthday i'm still thinking of going or not . cause it will be damn weird if no one is gonna accompany and i am sure vivien is gonna stick to her korkor or whoever she know. and it's not sure it is confirm and proven too many times. so it will be a miracle if she didnt.

it's already the end of may . dage is in the hospital. hope he gets well. not that i dont want to visit. but when i was in the hospital for more serious case where was he. his injuries is he ownself make one. so i guess he just have to learn his lesson as much as i care and hate to see him this way no matter what i say to him falls on deaf ears anyway. so dear dage get a speedy recovery and dont do anything foolish anymore cause of a girl it is not worth it really . 

okay guess i am stopping here for the night .goonai people !

and good morning !

xoxo

HERE ARE THE PEOPLE THAT SLACK AT SERANGOON 

okay i was just super bored and just nice i thought about the few of us . well normally it's just yixuan,keith,brandon, adele and i but yeah cloudy and robert comes too at time when they are NOT LAZY.

looking at the picture above the only LEGAL ones are in the middle the rest are all 16 !

all my little kiddos heehee :)

okay this post is actually meant for ytd so once again

HAPPY 16TH  BIRTHDAY TO YIXUAN AND ADELE 

finally can use your own ic for mixage club hahaha i like a bad only :)

raphael is my newest didi :) my didi like all cute cute boy ! 

mid-years are here and i am actually not prepared and kinda gonna draw out some subjects. suddenly just wanna work and earn money dont wanna study anymore after all nothing gets into my head :(

today kinda angry and moody cause I DIDNT HAVE ENOUGH SLEEP

but surprisingly im still awake at this hour and later i got appointment at NUH in the afternoon and i meeting daddy also i think. i wanna get a new tattoo :( but mummy will freak and i will kana kan like fuck.

kinda upset with teddy cause i hate seeing him cause of some fucked up dog and bitch he become like that and he can so much thigs that when i read it's actually kinda hurting . but wells im still angry so i'll text him back tomorrow. 

mr robert is so WEIRD and i confirm know he will read my blog so HI ROBERT ! :D

any way i read yours already ahaha ! 

i think till now it's still ..... but yeah never will happen .

whatever that hurt in the past will only make me stronger and not to repeat the same thing again.

can't wait on wed to meet my two babies mika and glenda gonna go CHOMPCHOMP and eat ! NOMNOMNOM!

I SWEAR FOOD DRIVES ME CRAZY I'M ONE FAT SHIT !

i'm kinda happy without T no need to tolerate any bullshits and all yeah he was nice but in the end just a fucked up person as everyone said. and i hope piggy opens her eyes before she decides anything. 

after hearing what people at shake say about you lil doggy i really finally realize who the real liar is.

and yeah you abit dumb uh everyone already said " if samantha wanted to be with you she long ago would have accepted you"

hello is been since last september till now . but good that everyone moved on already .

okay i wanna sleep already if not cannot wae up ! GOODNIGHTS !

xoxo

I KINDA MISS THAILAND :(  LOOK WHAT I FOUND WHILE CLEARING MY STUFF !

 I MISS MY TWO KIDDO I SOMEHOW LOOKED AFTER AT WORLD VISION HOME :)

 I STILL HAVE THE COLOURINGS THAT THEY GAVE ME BEFORE WE LEFT BACK TO SINGAPORE 

MY FACE SUI CAUSE I WAS FREAKING CRYING HAHAHA !

okay i miss my running days at hostel where i dont need to worry about relationships or hypocritical friends.

now is all damn shitty i swear . woke up today had a text from a friend stating we cant meet up as much and cannot even text cause his fucking immature friendless loser girlfriend don't like. ya maybe she's paranoid but come on la it's not like i like him or anything. she should die in her drama at shake. 

i am so pissed off till now. gosh never seen this kind of girl before seriously? want to e-mail me to fuck off you wanna play with fire bitch i can play with you eh. i could have talked upfront to you that day but cause i gave face to a friend i treasure but sorry to say i am not giving in anymore cause i think iam not in the wrong and get this fact right it was your boyfriend who ask me for my damn number . -.- so stop being a bitch .

ytd i dont know if HE did it purposely but he was kinda harsh . went down shake with a high fever super geh pa lan and somemore i still drink GG really . but it was cause i wanna see that idiot but end up like that also so yeah . oh wells lets see how things go . still kinda upset about what happen. 

lan lan suck thumb :)

i swear i don't know how i can keep such a thing for so long its been months i guess, while waiting for my damn phone to sync shall blog cause le bored :(

today bought stuff for angsty boy and headed down to shake and talk to dage also . didnt really talk much to angsty boy though. waiting for kenny to come shake and headed down to marina square for a movie ! (21 jump street) awesome movie ! walked back to shake to pass dage money and yeah lepak there awhile. 

so near yet so far :( but im still contented that i can see him even though didnt even talk .

keep taking my phone just to play diamond dash. bishhhhh

dage say korkor say come out also want hit me cause i pg :( die die die :(

anyway life has been great. have new AWESOME friends and when i mean awesome they really are! never thought would meet and have such friends they aint perfect but yeah i love them even though we recently just got to know each other. but no doubt i am damn thankful. and i miss my babes mika, glenda and some others :( all busy with exams and me rotting away and not going to school . there is so much things on my mnd that i dont know where to start from and yeah i cant concentrate on anything eles except think about all that shit ! arghh annoying much !

miss teddy and korkor too :( will meet teddy soon but korkor still have long way ... i guess tmr when i wake up gonna reply prison letters .okay my phone is gonna be done i think . gonna stop here! 

even though there is nothing to talk to YOU but just seeing you im contented :)

xoxo

isn's it cuteeeeeee

wednesday night was awesome but yeah maybe cause everyone was high and stuff certain things unexpected happen but yeah was happy even though it was just a day. sometimes i still don't know what am i thinking about but yeah a paranoid girl like me from cloud99 to cloud0 is really damn sensitive ! small things do affect me but i try not to show it if possible cause yeah when it shows it on my face is damn fucking obvious. 

went to kenny's house ytd lepak with him and BG and a unexpected guest came lol. make me wanna ......

but oh well shall just keep shut . those people who know about it then good lo those who dk all i can say good luck . hmms now its like 6.30pm and still no plans made :( maybe after 12 then decide or something ! seriously kan bored . and im not tired anymore. should i go shake tonight? hmms miss a certain soeone but yeah ...

wishhhhhhhhhhhhhfulllllllllll thoughttttssssss :(

and on the other hand im kinda happy now. whoever especially you if you wanna think it's you so be it. 

you seriously have issues. and sorry i dont entertain people who attract attention or think they are someone when in the first place you werent at all if not thanks to a certain someone you hate. cant stand people who always assume and think they are so fucking right and keep arguing when they are already in the wrong and only apologize cause they want quarrels to end . so not mature like a please. 

i might be bitchy and all you can spread whatever shit you wanna say i dont give a fuck. form the past till now yeah i have my wrongs i do admit but you just simply saying everyone misunderstood you and bla bla bla. run away from issues " i dont want go this and that" 

no doubts i miss ph , no doubts i miss raving and dancing with people like nitez,jaee,leen,dardar,yuvion,jaz,shermay,junwei and so many others. but what happen already happen . i can't change their thinking or whatsoever but just remember the good times i use to have with them .but im not gonna dwell on it like other people.

only afew others really understand what kind of person am i but there's a phrase that goes " who are you to judge when you yourself aint perfect"  but during this few times i really thank adam tan, kenny,BG, and some of my baby girls like mika, shir for really understanding me. 

i might be screwed up at times but yeah i'll just continue to walk forward. those people who thought you know me damn well please the actual fact you dont. and i dont need people to say if i have change or so . i am who i want to be, i no need to change for anyone eles. 

it's not gonna be easy from now on but i'm still going try to aim whatever i wanna do or achieve.

okay tired typing ! just had the feel to bloog just now and bishhhhhh so many rubbish .

not happy whatever i post your damn problem no one ask you to read also :)

xoxo