didnt go to school today i actually didnt even hear my alarm. that was how tired i am . this few days my emotions are getting really out of hand i can be so pissed off until it seems like everyone in the world owe's me a living. one thing that is causing it JEALOUSY KILLS and the pressure of being or wanting to be with someone is giving me alot of headaches. dont want the same old shit to happen again just like before . dont wanna break down to another heartache or mental break down. just live one day at a time. pass few days kinda rabbak. went to cloud's chalet alot of little taiji =.= but yeah went down for cloudy's sake cause he going in ns already ... no more hair all botak !

teddy this post is for you. i know you are hurting and all okay but people like me , pearlyn were always here for you, now that yo decided to mia from us do you think we are not abit worried. told you before you aint alone we are all here if you need us. neither are you a burden. and what you promise me before do you still rmb you mia but you wont from me? but what are you doing now. this world you are not the only one alone. i hope you see this cause i'm still waiting for you to text me. you can text others but not the ones who care the most ? what do you take us as? any way like i said im waiting .

papa today your court date i hope everything will turn out fine. i dont want to see another close one going in. 

nu-er wait for your outcome okay. even if you go in nu-er will wait for you !

love you papa !! ^^ 

that's me without make up and my cheeks are still big as ever :( I'M FINALLY HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL ! i miss my bed so happy to wake up without being disturbed!
miss being at home and miss going out ! but last and not least 6 MORE DAYS TILL IAN IS OUT :)
can't wait . made a new friend call sabrina:) friendly babe and yeah kinda happy to know new friends.
gonna shower soon and meet momo go eat and head down to shake i think! I MISS SHAKE !
miss my babies too :) gonna be a wild week yeah ! mc till 21st so shall enjoy and back to school next week. and i guess i will be stared at class again like why she keep never come then coe back and i know i'm lacking damn behind soooo i need my brother to teach me and its a sad case :(
okays im just blogging for fun. and i miss that cutie boy haha !

xoxo

time faster pass cant wait for this two to come out seriously :( miss korkor's big hug and advice when i'm in trouble. things ain't going that well. if only korkor was out of here to settle everything. :(

it's the 2nd day Ian inside :/ phone so quiet without his rubbish texts. always make me smile especially he drunk he will keep rawring :) his nainai/ goonai. count down two weeks . really hope he is doing fine .and i'm wondering f he will botak anot :/ oh well .

i'm so bored currently in the hospital all the ahma sleeping while im the only one awake blogging watching shows away. that's the only way to waste time in here. tmr might be getting discharge already . friday gonna be good and go to school as much as i dont want to i still have to :/ okay gonna stop i'm BORED :(

xoxo

when you're around i feel happy even though i can't do anything.
seeing that charming smile of yours makes me smile too.
though it is not like me to be worrying but some how i do worry for you alot.
to you i might be like a kid but yeah i really hate it .
all this i keep to myself cause there is no use letting it out .
it will just cause many problems and maybe history might even repeat again.
i just wish you will be happy ad safe wherever you go.
just gonna keep this feeling in my heart and watch you from afar .
wishful thinking and thoughts will just kill so i shall just type it short in case i go out of my mind for keeping
everything within.
i'll see you around when i can and i'll wait for your text .

xoxo

went to shake and headed down to ph. somehow i regretted going down . really made me stone and flashbacks just seems to come back when i saw all of them especially that one who really did so much hurt . today i guess im just gonna stay at home uh . moody and yet i feel that the cycle will happen once again. i dont want to lose anyone eles anymore. best not to put any feelings into anyone cause if the same thing is gonna happen i dont think i have the strength to stand up on my feet again.
have to start going to school tmr also . havent been going for the past 3 weeks i think. havent even replied korkor's letter. gonna be so dead if he ask where is his letter .
don't know why recently get pissed off when people treat me as a kid . maybe im being too over sensitive already or another reason is the person who treats me like a kid i dont want him or her to treat me in that manner. and that is kinda scaring me cause it means feelings are gonna slowly go in which I DONT WANT IT TO HAPPEN !
i'll leave things as it is. if it happens then it will but apparently i dont think it will either. so got to stop thinking so much before i start going crazy on my own. fuck feelings seriously . wish i could just chuck them inside a box and store it away.
renjie korkor also moody keep text me somehow i dont know why i can always console and advice others and not my ownself. feel like a total idiot. really hope fire korkor comes out real soon . as usual im still kinda lost without him around. thats what happens when i get attached to a brother so close that i just cant do without him when i'm feeling upset and korkor's hugs were always the best . just one hug and i'll stop crying. hais .
some fatty havent woke up. and i dont know if i'm gonna meet teddy later i'm so tired.
shall blog later or some other day for now shall stop here .

xoxo

 DAGE

 ADAM

IAN

SHAKE isn't bad either though :) still have my dage there adam and timo. and that cute aks HAHAHA!

i think everyone knows who so nothing to hide :)

went shake ytd and sua tiu go nana with ian and his buddy dixon . went home and toh .

havent been going to school either. have to start going already .

teddy has been sweet lately kinda creeping me out but i guess alot of things has happen to him thats why the changes have been made in his life but like i promised i will there helping him whenever he needs my help.

i guess i have moved on but the fac that i'm still a little pussy cat afraid of having feelings for others . and recently it just feels kinda funny just trying to demy some facts. hmms okay i'm bored i need to smoke !

bye~

No doubt that i do miss them at powerhouse.

All the memories will be kept . maybe it isnt the same as before anymore but thanks for the fun times :)