went to shake and headed down to ph. somehow i regretted going down . really made me stone and flashbacks just seems to come back when i saw all of them especially that one who really did so much hurt . today i guess im just gonna stay at home uh . moody and yet i feel that the cycle will happen once again. i dont want to lose anyone eles anymore. best not to put any feelings into anyone cause if the same thing is gonna happen i dont think i have the strength to stand up on my feet again.
have to start going to school tmr also . havent been going for the past 3 weeks i think. havent even replied korkor's letter. gonna be so dead if he ask where is his letter .
don't know why recently get pissed off when people treat me as a kid . maybe im being too over sensitive already or another reason is the person who treats me like a kid i dont want him or her to treat me in that manner. and that is kinda scaring me cause it means feelings are gonna slowly go in which I DONT WANT IT TO HAPPEN !
i'll leave things as it is. if it happens then it will but apparently i dont think it will either. so got to stop thinking so much before i start going crazy on my own. fuck feelings seriously . wish i could just chuck them inside a box and store it away.
renjie korkor also moody keep text me somehow i dont know why i can always console and advice others and not my ownself. feel like a total idiot. really hope fire korkor comes out real soon . as usual im still kinda lost without him around. thats what happens when i get attached to a brother so close that i just cant do without him when i'm feeling upset and korkor's hugs were always the best . just one hug and i'll stop crying. hais .
some fatty havent woke up. and i dont know if i'm gonna meet teddy later i'm so tired.
shall blog later or some other day for now shall stop here .

xoxo