life is such SHIT happens all the time .

stayed home today as i was too LAZY to even step outside only went out to buy food. and i'm gonna be so broke cause i kkeep spending my money on food. and tomorrow eating at chomps again ! argh can't wait !

me SJY can't live without eating . every hour also find food and still so small size ! whyyyy !

okay enough of talking about food. i guess today isn't my day. quarreled with teddy and very disappointed with a certain friend. i'm so tired of caring cause why care when no one is gonna listen and bother .

this is for you teddy :

i'm not angry with you at all i'm disappointed by the way you think that i didnt care and i was having fun outside and all wheni wasn't . i told you many times but how many times did my words fall on deaf ears. there's a point of time when i say things and continuously you dont listen i'll get tired emotionally cause i will feel that i havent been a good friend enough for you . i dote on you i care as much as i can but dont take it for granted can? you can get angry with everyone and the whole world but think who were the ones who really take your rubbish and try to help you . yes in a way i gave up advising you but i never gave up our friendship and all . and it hurt when you said if i want to poon with you . seriously ? due to such things you want to go this far till cutting contact im fine with it if it makes you happy really . that's why i rather not reply you . maybe you don't understand but like i say before you will always be my teddy good or bad you are stil my teddy the one i dote on ad the one who i will be there for if you fall , no matter how weak i am i will still pull you up when you fall . you have made it this far just another 2 more months and you will be freeman. i kow you can do it. i don't want to see you getting into trouble anymore . if till now you still think that i dont care and all i really dont know what eles to say anymore .

honestly while typing this whole paragraph for you tears fill my eyes . but i'm not gonna let my tears drop either. i just hope you know that i care is just that this point of time i'm having my own difficulties too. you are not the only one going through so much pain .

to one of my babes G :

i know you must be feeling like fuck cause i was damn straight forward to you about certain things saying that you change boyfriend like changing panties . but seriously babe how many times you want this cycle to repeat again? you are lucky mika clam me down somehow if not i would have posted much more shit and you know i mean what i say . maybe yeah you feel lonely therefore you lack of love and everything and therefore as a girl it's naturally they will want a boyfriend and stuff. but babe you told us yourself you want to take things slow and end up just afew days later you are together with him already ? do you know him well ? can you cnfirm he won't break your heart like what the past guys did? you say i don't understand where that's where you are wrong. haven't you heard about my stories the past year till now? fom jet, nitez.timo, jaee? how many things i have to deal ? it's far worst then you . and i did many shit in the process too and where did i end up? losing almost half of my life my friends and even close ones those i never wanted to lose like nitez. but i did shit and therefore i have to bear the consequences. neither mika or i wanna see you goingthey same way i did. if you already think you are going through alot what about others what about me? two years ago you saw me dying in the hospital in ICU for two months . but i still fought to be alive even though i wanted to just leave this fucked up world. sometimes yor really have to use your head before you lose everyone in your life. i've learnt my lesson therefore i dare to say all this . jaee and i didnt work out but i really learn alot through the way somehow and i am grateful for that .
go please go and think if what i said is wrong and dont have that attitude of selective hearing . what's the use of a loud big mouth but no brains to think? and you wanna be vulgar ? say thse words to someone eles cause i'm far worst then you and you know it. what you trying to prove? i really got no comments . like i say before if me and mika as friends dont care about you i wont be bothered if you are upset and all. and this time you get dumped or whatsoever dont come crying to us cause we told you you didnt want to listen oly got yourself to blame .


OMG THIS BLOG POST KAN LONG !

it;s been 10 days since i  last saw you and i miss you almost every single day despite knowing i'll never be with you cause i guess i'm not your type either so i will only keep you in my heart. see you from afar i'm still contented . as long as you are happy i will be happy for you . i guess i'll see you if i do head down .

okay i have to stop blogging bye !!

xoxo