till now i am confirm of myself that i have feelings for a certain someone cause everything that happens be it good or bad affects me . but at times i live in self denial and somehow makes me wanna punch myself real hard in the face. 

why do i always have the feeling this thing that im feeling is gonna be like what happen between me and jet and me and nitez. knowing that we are friends , knowing that i want us to be more than friends yet knowing that this is all we are gonna be.

went to mink today that place that day just hold too many memories for me even though it was just a day . even though i was already half gone but i knew what exactly happened. yeah i tell everyone i dont give a fuck about you at times and i dont want to care but deep down im feeling like shit having all this things in my mind and in my heart . 

at the very beginning i just wanted you as a friend but as time went by my feeling become more and more and from the " the don't wanna fall for you " became to the "i have already fallen " and now "afraid to fall cause i dont think i will be able to pick myself up again"

can't afford all this heartaches but it always just keeps coming to me .my fate or is it my karma?

maybe the gods are really making a fool out of me. 

i know i will never be that girl you ever wanted even if i could try my best for eeverything you will never even choose me to start with . even if i was you i wouldn't choose me either.

all i can do now is see how things will go one at a time. 

but i really don't wanna loose you ever . okay enough saying about you .

i need to give my heart a break for a little while :(

xoxo