"Never thought i would have such a life. the only way i can continue in life is to deal with it and accept it."

my mind is in a whirl after hearing truth about my life i am really speechless yet somewhere deep inside me is telling me i should be grateful and change for the better . i guess after ytd my life has to be changed.

it's hard i admit i really wanted to end myself but as i thought about it i guess im one grateful bitch that has been given this life not just once but actually it's already my third . escaping from death twice yet i'm still behaving like shit i must be ashamed of myself . 

lost fire and company i guess due to the way i was and partly was also the past problems fire and baby had with each other. no doubts i miss them i miss my brother fire. but life still has to go on. yeah i was to dependent on them i guess it's time to grow up in a way and count on myself .

anyway i hope justine and jazreel are okay . my condolences to them . i really pray they stay strong i know it's not easy as easy as it is said.

mummy is finally discharged from the hospital and yeah have been back home for dinner with baby and helping mummy around with the house work and chores. now i know how tiring doing house work can be. 

but enjoyed cooking with mummy and baby and eatig the food we had cooked. feels so blessful :)

  

this boy of mine really pissed me off almost everyday. recently have been many quarrels almost causeing each other to end this whole relationship. i guess it's kinda surprising how two of us can still last till now as both of us were "players" before we got together, but no doubt i love him despite all the shit i have to go through like loosing my friends and all . he may still act like a kid but i know he loves me just as much as i love him and yeah i know i ave to be prepared that he is going in and i am gonna be outside here without him. i'll wait as long as he keeps to his promise that he will change. no regrets . boy i may not know how long we will last but i promise as long as you are trying i will stay .

love at first sight? or maybe it's just fate :)

TEDDY IS FINALLY OUT !

he has no idea how happy i am and i really can't wait to see him again .

i miss my silly bear . he is my best friend and brother the one who has never left me despite the quarrels and arguements with have over things and people.

teddy if you do read my blog PLEASE BE GOOD ALRIGHT !

i dont wanna see my precious teddy going in again !

okay i shall end here i got to go off soon !

xoxo