well i never really blogged about my family background before but after seeing dad just now i just wanted to say so many things that i can't say it by mouth. and what i am feeling inside is that kind of shitty feeling ever,

THE WORDS i always wanted to say to day since i was 7 years old 

met dad just now . he dropped by after his work. yeah dad seems to be rich and all but he likes to behave like any ordinary personn who lives within what they should spend and what they shouldnt spend .

grew up in a christian family but as for me when i turned againest my parents for getting a divorce everything in my life changed , was send into a girls hostel as i committed crimes and couldnt get along with my step mum and often fight with her. okay enough with all this bull shit.

i guess i have always only thought about myself and not about my parents and all. always had this hatred with me even now i still do think back about what i did. and i guess i was really a let down a disappointment to my parents especially dad . he doted on me bought me every thing that i wanted when i was young and i really mean EVERYTHING  when i wanted a dog he got it for me as a present for christmas when i was 8.

grew up being a spoilt brat as i had everything the way i wanted . i couldnt accept the fact that dad remarried and i tried every way i could that could break him and my step mum up. yeah you people might be thinking a girl aged of 8 why would she be doing all this. first of all i wanted dad all to myself as i had all the attention . yes that is how selfish i can be. at the wedding i litterally ruin it cause i was the flower girl instead of throwing flower petals at the side i threw it behind which was my step mum's face . till one day at the age of 14 i went in to andrew and grace home. 

learned to be independent and all ad concentrated on my running and music .

free gilr in 2009. before i hit 18 my whold body crashed . not gonna explained why but was in ICU for 2 months straight 3 relapses was supposed to be dead but somehow they found my heartbeat at the last sec,

so this is my 3rd life. cause when my mother gave birth to me she also nearly lost me .

during my dying period i then realize who were the ones there for me and everything and they were my parents. dad came down everyday with tears rolling from his eyes . mum came now and then with her sad expression. seeing me covered in tubes from my mouth to my throat and my nose. how much blood i cough out per day . the day i pulled out my tubes on my ow cause i was so fed up the doctors had to tie my hands beside the bed just like a prisoner , dad saw and was so upset he scolded the doctors for tying me up.

i never seen dad so upset in my life . up till today i know he is still disappointed in me and as much as i try to make it up i guess it will never be enough . but one day i'll prove tat i can change over a new leaf and forget about the past. 

really want to move back to dad's place i guess when i'm ready then i'll request.

but dad thanks for everythig deep from my heart since i was a little girl i always wanted to hug you and say i love you dad but never had the courage to do so.

i'm sorry for disappointing you and please take good care of your health.     

mummy when she was in her younger days and when she could still carry my brother and me . 

those days when it was just me samuel mummy and daddy no one eles.

samuel and daddy :) 

SOORY FOR THE TROLL FACE CAUSE I LOOK LIKE CRAP

dad remarried when i was 10 . my whole life turned.fought with my step mum, mixed with the wrong company and every shit you can ever imagine. i hated dad but at the same time i wanted him to be happy . but in return i had the cutest lil step brother 

the kind of kid brother any sister would want as my other brother samuel is more of a typical nerd freak .

while steward is more like me :)

 well as you can see this ACS monkey is here ! yup my lil brother steward .

12 years younger then me by the time he takes his PSLE i'll be already 24 MY GOD .

 on my "death bed .dad smiles but i know his heart is aching badly .

for those who saw me two years back you people will know why . 

SORRY FOR THE LONG POST PEOPLE . 

BUT I FEEL MUCH BETTER NOW ^^

xoxo.