so many words to say to you but when you're just infront of me all the words just get stuck in my mouth .

heart races when you're around. just hoping i could pause time and hug you for as long as i can .

i guess you never really know how much i really like you . but yet knowing i can never have you i only can be  thankful that i know you and appreciate the times i spend with you be it short or long .

i know i'm not the perfect girl friend material, im not pretty neither am i smart . but i know i have the heart and when i love someone i will really do anything to see you happy and keep the relationship for as long as it can last. i dont ask people to spend money with me or need the guy to be good looking but yeah idk it's too  complex. 

okay enough of all this talk . just suddenly not in the mood for anything. have been feeling so empty for the past one year . and yet actually i should be happy that i got back my friend nitez again but i know even i got him back as friend it will never be the same. so many things have change everyone is changing or i'm just probably the only one still stuck in past hurts and memories. 

i really tried to move on. tried to put that smile on my face but simply can't haha i'm one pathetic shit case.

i tried to forget people but i can't. i guess one thing about me is the happy memories that made me hold on to certain people in my life. i hate losing people. i care for people more then i care about myself .

aren't i stupid to do that ?

well now i hope daddy's health is okay and hope mummy is alright in the hospital. 

home without mummy also weird even though her nagging is like wtf but she's still my mum.

okay enough of blogging maybe go play maple . sorry for the emo post 

xoxo