Thinking about so many thing at the same time. really do not know what should i do and i finally realize what the feeling is when someone is not around you will to miss every bit of the person good or bad you will stil miss the person . feeling so lost yet putting and hiding every emotion within me. hoping i will not burst and hoping i will not go out of my mind. maybe this is karma cause the same cycle has been repeating over and over again. when things are always getting better something bad is bound to happen .

i've learnt my lesson dear god please don't take anyone eles away from me any more or put them in a place where i cant see them anymore . 

this post is for those people who i am grateful for . 

time to show some appreciation.

Baby,

no words to express how much i am missing you everyday. it's been 4 days since you got caught. i miss you by my side. yes we may be always quarreling and having different views about many things. i use to always say why you so stupid and immature but in the end of the day i still love you even though you practically cheated on me and was with that bitch for a day or so i still accepted you back when you ask me for patched. now that no one is around to bicker with me and annoy me and to even piss me off i feel very lost without your presence. bi please be good inside alright and please change not for me but for your own good and yourself. i can't guarantee that i can wait till you are release cause i know you will be sentence for at most 3 years. but i promise i'll wait as long as i can and i will write to you and visit you when i can. friday i'll see you at your court i know i will break down when i see you but that is gonna be the last time im gonna see you before your sentence . i love you alright i really do . you got no idea how tough im struggling each time when i think of you . i dont ask for much i just hope you will repent. 

Korkor (Fire),

korkor in a months time you are coming out soon. a year has pass. i know i will be scolded by you for certain things i have done . but i know you still dote on me this lil sister the most. thank you for always being there and lending me a shoulder or listening ear. even though when you are inside you would write to me and give me advises and telling me to control my temper and study hard and everything. i know i always got problems and you tend to always clear my mess together with dage (xiaohei) and when i cannot clear on my own you will ask me to just keep quite for now and wait for you to come out then settle everything . though we are not blood siblings but the bond me you and xiaohei have is just so thick this bond no matter how many quarrels or misunderstandings we have we will never be separated we always find a way back to each other. maybe when you come out you will see a new me a meimei you have never seen before. going through a rough time now kor and i really dont know what to do neither do i know how to explain to you cause i now you and xiaolong buay gum with each other . but i hope on meimei's account you would be okay with him. but he is going in soon maybe you will see him before you are release and when you come out i know i would need that pillar of strength form you. really afraid to break down like last year when i lost jet. korkor counting down for you. me. xiaohei and afew others will be picking you up on your release day . i'll see you soon. i love you .

 Dage (Xiaohei)

always "bullying' me and "fighting" with me . i know you and fire's doting on me are very different. you may not show much and seem to always not care but i know you care in your own ways . i have seen you fall at your weakess and you saw me fall too. and in some ways or another we were always there for each other. just like what i said to fire i know i gave alot of problems to you two and especially you but i appreciate what you have done for me for the past 1 year plus being your meimei . love you dage .

  

 Korkor (Renjie)

it's been a long time since i saw you ! but i have never forgotten about you ! and i miss you too. even though we are the same age i know i'm still "younger" in many ways! thank you for always looking out for me. scolding me for "fishing" when sometimes i never but i know i huo gai at times heehee  :( and caring for me and seeing me when i get admitted into the hospital ! you were there pulling me up when i fell during my last break up and other rubbish stuff i did i know you nearly gave up on me this sister but nevertheless you still didn't and i am really grateful that you didnt . your birthday coming soon and mine too i really want to see you on my birthday okay ! loves.

Teddy ( Gabriel)

Teddddyyyyyy ! i used to hate you ! you know that right ? but ended up we became so close without even realizing it at times! i never onced looked at you being 2 years younger than me and i know we may have ALOT of arguments but you know i still love you right and i will always be there for you just like how you are always there for me! you are a best friend and brother anyone would ever want even though at times you may be a pain in the neck and piss me off :) though we have not been meeting as often as before i'm just a call away a text away and 4-5 mrt stopd away from you ! and you promised to be good and never leave ! better keep to that ! we have to be close just like the movie "TED" ! le THUNDER BUDDY ! 

Cloud

it's been more then a month since we had talked or met each other . but nevertheless i still want to thank you for everything you had done for me especially being there for me during the "ian" period. well i do not know if we will ever talk again or i can say even be friends again. but yeah i miss you. i hope all is well for you and everything , :) i really wish i could call you best friend again. but yeah i doubt so too. :')       

MY TWO ANGKONG SIAO SISTERS !

(Pearlyn &Samantha Leong)

i know you girls for about 2 years plus if i'm not wrong. even best we all met at cine ! with shiting, darryl, gabriel all. have to go out again like how we went to USS ! love you girls alot and please hor pearlyn ENOUGH TATTOOS le ! so fierce later scare all the boys away. i guess we 3 are fated to have AHBENGS as boyfriends due to all our body art ! heh heh !!! lovessss 

Small Small ( Adam)

oldest in the small small clan ! always looking out for me ! stalking my life when he has nothing to do and will suddenly text me how are things or asking what happen about this and that . anyway THANK YOU ! i know fire said and asked you guys to look out for me and all but i know you are doing it on your own accord cause you treat me as a sister too . i kow during that time when everyone was againest me i know you did alot for me helping me and even helping me getting nitez back as a friend cause you knew how much i was hurting when i lost him as a good friend. that situation i really don;t know how to thank you. even though now we rarely meet up or see each other i'm sure there will be chances especially when korkor is out ! and now that you are together with winnie please treasure her ! and last long ! you two have my wishes ! 

Small Small (Zurio)

Youngest of the small small clan but always forgetting that i am older than him ! always talking sense into me but he himself can't apply it to himself. and i know now you are really going through a difficult time .but i know you can pull through. and stop doing all the foolish things i dont like to see you being this way either so do the rest . all for one one for all remember ? you know i will always be there for you . nothing beats family .alwyas remember all the mottos and we are not weak ! i want to see you get through this ! i know you can !

Serangoon kaki !

(brandon , adele, raphael,keith)

i know we have all been separated. i do miss the times when we all slacked together and all. the 4 of you are all having your N levels do study hard alright ! jia you ! if there is ever a chance again for all of us to meet together again it will be good too :)

 FAG (vivien) & Nephew ( keith)

this post specially for you two ! :D among all the kiddos you and keith have been the closest to me i know we always piss each other off especially with your delays but i guess it's normal for us already. yeah we ka each other jiao wei we all admit but aren;t we still firneds LOL. you two better study ! and fag dont retain again ! i'll kill you ! meet up soon ! :)

 .  

Juline (Yusin)

you know what i still not used to calling you juline at times:/ haha ! anyway i'm kinda surprised myself that now would be quite close haha NEVER in my life since secondary school days i would imagine this day . i know i may have been a bully or i can say being damn wa tang in school but yeah i'm glad we are friends now and all can even joke about plastic barbie dolls*you know who i'm reffering to* and can go out and all i'll see you real soon okay !!! heh heh 

 xiaolong(bby) jes , joseph , juline, shuhui 

WE ALL HAVE TO REALLY PRAY HARD FOR THE BOYS ! 

jes you got to be strong too . i know it's hard and i know every minute or which ever place you go you will think of them. i know how you feel i miss bickering with xiaolong too . but like what i learn in my hostel 

"do the crime pay the price" 

we must stand strong together okay. that's what sisters are for. even though we may not be very close but i know you are a good friend and sister . steady and all. you steady i sure steady with you .i'll meet you real soon too.

 THIS POST IS FOR THOSE I RECENTLY JUST KNOW OR CAN SAY KNOW FOR QUITE SOME TIME BUT NOT VERY CLOSE .

thanks for being my friend and for some who shared with me their problems if you need a listening ear or whatsoever you know my number you can just text me :)

Yueting , Ahting, QianHui, Elysia 

Taigong, Minsheng, Andric, Zarius , Xiaohao ,Andy, Patrick, Waiwai, Gary, Clement

xoxo